Recap: Love in Design

Hello again!

Watching cheesy movies and writing snarky recaps of them appears to be the only thing that can hold my attention long enough to forget about all of the horrible things currently happening in this world, so for as long as that continues to be the case, I'll keep doing this blog. Plus, 45 people read my last post, which many people would say is a tiny amount, but I say: if I can make 45 people chuckle or smile for a few minutes, that feels worth it to me!

The title of this instant classic threw me off a little and feels rather clunky, as "in" seems like the incorrect preposition. It should be Love by Design. However, that movie came out in 2014 so I guess if they wanted Design and Love for the title they had to choose something else. (Also, that IMDb page made me aware of another title, An Hour Behind, starring BARRY WATSON of 7th Heaven fame and about a mishap involving DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME so you bet your ass that's my next recap if I can track it down.)

This cinematic masterpiece stars one of my favs, Danica McKellar, and someone who I apparently am obsessed with, Andrew Walker, who was in my last recap, among others I've recapped, so I think that means he and I are destined to be married. OMG, we'll have our own real-life Hallmark movie plot, where he finds a blogger (me) who has written way too many things about the movies he's been in and looks me up, then comes to Boston to find me and we fall instantly in love and he proposes within a week. *FINGERS CROSSED.* (He's already married, whatever, who cares.)

The Movie: Love in Design 

The Premise: Yet another movie about someone restoring an old mansion and falling in love. Does this happen regularly?

Starring: Wait, I've Seen This Person Before!

Danica McKellar: Duh.

Andrew Walker: My future wedding photos.

Original Air Date: September 12, 2018, Hallmark Channel

Danica McKellar is Hannah, and Hannah is the host of a home design show based in LA called "Love in Design," which I've already said is a stupid name. Hannah's producer and Sassy Black Friend (whose name either wasn't said or I missed it but it doesn't matter because she'll probably only be in this one scene) says that Big Bad Bossman Wally wants to see her first thing in the morning. Hannah knows this means one thing: FIRED!

Andrew Walker's Jeff (whose hair is MUCH better in this movie than in the last one, thank goodness) has returned home to your standard small New England town in Vancouver (ugh, sorry, Winnipeg), and we learn from waitress Carol that he is so predictable she still remembers his order from when he last lived there and also he has come back for a reason that is said to be a new job but is probably dead parents. (Note: Turns out it's not dead parents. We never really find out why he came back, or where he was in between. Unless we did and I was asleep during that part.) Jeff's friend, whom I'm calling Forehead because his haircut makes his seem very large, basically tells us the same thing.

Hannah and SBF (wow, she gets more than one scene!!!) meet with Big Bad Bossman Wally and he says that their makeover show needs a makeover if they want to keep doing it, and that means they're moving the show to Hannah's hometown instead of LA because the owner of a historical manor wants to convert it to a B&B. Oh, and it also has to be done in 5 weeks for the big anniversary party. There's always a party.

Hannah talks to her mom who is super psyched to have her come for a visit and has even put out her old unicorn comforter, which Hannah doesn't approve of but oh my goodness, I would love a unicorn comforter. Mom tries to mention something to Hannah and you know it's that Jeff is back in town because they used to date or something but Hannah cuts her off so now she's in for a big SURPRISE when she arrives in New England/Winnipeg.

WHAT? Jeff ALSO has a sassy black friend, or rather new coworker, but man, Hallmark is stepping it up in the casting department. (No, they aren't.) She tells him that he's overseeing the renovation of the manor because he's the city architect and they want him on grounds to make sure it doesn't get fucked up. Do small towns have city architects? Why the hell would they need one?

I still don't know the name of Hannah's SBF and now I feel bad because she's in this movie a lot and I should have paid better attention. Oh good, Hannah's mom calls her Julie so now I can, too. The Manor Owner Lady says she doesn't want to stay stuck in the past but every B&B I've ever seen is way stuck in the past so I'm confused about why the current decor won't work. There are also usually creepy dolls which is always a bonus. Nothing about the inside of this manor house looks historical and Manor Owner Lady says they used to give tours of it but I cannot for the life of me figure out why. It's not that big and it appears to be from the 1970s which...who cares? Jeff arrives and sees Hannah and all the feelings come back. But he says nothing, instead they just look at each other weird and confused.

Hannah and Manor Owner Lady start knocking down walls and I'm impressed that Hannah has come up with a construction demolition plan in literally 12 hours. Jeff doesn't like that she's knocking down walls because he is old fashioned and Hannah is modern and they are opposites in case you didn't know. Of course the camera crew captures their disagreement and of course Big Bad Bossman Wally has shown up and of course he loves it because viewers of a home renovation show definitely want it to be turned into a dating show.

Hannah is putting air in her bike tire while out on a bike path. Does she carry a pump with her? She doesn't have a backpack or anything, so does she just like hold it in her mouth while she pedals? Jeff shows up because he also likes biking (see, they do have something in common!), but he doesn't ask her where the hell she got the pump from. Later, Jeff talks to Julie and says he's fine with being on camera because he's been working out and he got a nice haircut. (He gives a different reason but we all know that's why.) Hannah JUST NOW asks Manor Owner Lady if there's anything she wants to keep which might have been better to ask BEFORE you started knocking down walls. Then Hannah says she wants to put up a big chandelier for "impact and flexibility" and WHAT ABOUT A BIG CHANDELIER IS FLEXIBLE? 

Hannah wants to take out the ugly-ass stained glass window that is from maybe 1975 at the earliest and Jeff is like NOPE and Hannah is like YES so they decide flip a coin because that's how you settle disagreements. Except no one has a coin so they go out back to play cornhole instead because they somehow knew there was just a random cornhole game in the backyard. (Julie says as much. I love Julie.) And oh my god, we have a montage of them playing cornhole while a song about "what we left behind" plays and they flirt and I think that's the first time that game has ever been used as a plot device in a film. Jeff wins because he has better forearms than Hannah. (I do love a good forearm on a man.)

Jeff hangs out with Forehead and his wife and they tell him that he still loves Hannah because of course he does. Mom says the same to Hannah because of course she does. Hannah wants to make changes to the windows in the manor house and Jeff says no way because the wall was built in the 1800s but I'm not buying that. Hannah decides to paint a mural on the wall instead and Jeff likes it but I think it's dumb. Jeff and Hannah have a moment and it's of course caught on film for the TV show. AWKWARD.

Somehow the studio already has a rough cut of the first episode of the show and now Jeff and Hannah have to go watch a sneak peak of the new season and do a meet & greet at the park and Big Bad Bossman Wally will be there. Jeff says he's going to pick Hannah up at 6pm and it is already nighttime when he arrives. Sunset in summer in New England is at like 9pm so nice job there. Jeff has on a tight t-shirt that is tucked into his jeans and I'm honestly not complaining.

People love the preview even though it appeared to be 8 minutes long and if I haul my ass over to a park to watch something it better last more than 8 minutes. Forehead's stupid kids make dumb comments about the preview so the wife takes them away because they are embarrassing idiots and they shouldn't be allowed out in public ever. Forehead, Julie, Jeff, and Hannah all decide to go to a bar called "Sparrows" and Hannah signs them up for trivia and their team name is "Team Design" because they are the lamest losers on the planet. (Though the other names: Beer Giants, Leprechauns, The Surgeons, and Up Town Girls are equally as terrible.) Jeff brings Hannah home after their BIG WIN and then says Hannah is book smart but not always smart when it counts. So, we've arrived at the negging portion of the wooing, huh Jeff?

Hannah doesn't seem to care and the next day at work he and Hannah flirt and Jeff has brought out the forearms again so it's fine by me. Jeff wants to hang out with her on the weekend but she's going to FINALLY redo her parent's deck. Jeff shows up to help her out and it's a good thing because Hannah is actually a shitty designer and literally doesn't plan or measure anything. I mean, I don't plan or measure anything either, every picture in my house was hung up by eyeballing, but I'm not being paid to do it and I don't claim to be any good. Crap, now Jeff has on a super tight t-shirt and damn, my future husband Andrew Walker really has been working out.

Jeff and his tight shirt tell Hannah that it's nice being there with her and he's never stopped thinking about her and honestly Hannah, he seems pretty wonderful so why the hell don't you just jump his bones? They blah blah blah about how they never should have let each other go but it was just what they had to do, and then Jeff gives her his best bedroom eyes and is about to kiss Hannah when those old cockblockers Mom and Dad show up.

I guess we're in Week 4 of the renovation now but it doesn't look like they've actually done anything so I'll have to take their word for it. Hannah and Jeff go talk to the historical committee about putting up a pergola and the committee man is like BOO PERGOLAS ARE TOO MODERN FOR A HOUSE BUILT IN 1970. But of course they convince him...well, even though he says he'll get back to them, we know he'll say yes. Jeff wants to take Hannah sightseeing and Hannah is all "I'm leaving soon" and Jeff is touching her with those wonderful forearms (um, the hands attached to them) so Hannah is like yeah actually let's do this thing.

We then get a montage of the final week of renovation interspersed with Jeff and Hannah biking and the song is really bad. I know that the budget on these things probably doesn't allow for much in the way of song rights but there's gotta be some unknown artists out there who'd like to make a few bucks and maybe have some people discover them. There's gotta be better options available, is what I'm saying. Now the pergola that was obviously approved is done and matches the house perfectly because the house is not historical. Oh no, Jeff has put some song on while they're out there and now he and Hannah are dancing to "their song" which is slightly better than the montage one, and they are once again interrupted when they're about to kiss because YOU CANNOT KISS UNTIL THE END OF THE MOVIE and there are still 20 minutes left. Jeff asks Hannah out on a real date because all the hanging out before this was just pretend.

Hannah is getting ready for her date and Mom comes in with a record by "Debbie Francis" and says she thought Hannah might want to listen to it except when she plays the record it's a man singing so really, the music supervisor on this movie should have been fired. Jeff arrives in a tux and says Hannah looks great but she looks exactly the same as always. Oh wait, the stupid date they're going on is to the B&B reveal/anniversary party which is NOT A DATE IT IS WORK. Big Bad Bossman Wally gives Hannah notes about how she should be delivering some lines, you know, cause he's the boss, and Hannah's like NO, I WANT TO BE ME AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME THE WAY I AM THEN PEACE OUT but Big Bad Bossman Wally doesn't fire her for some reason.

Jeff is playing cornhole again because that is how romance happens. Hannah finds him and Jeff is "bummed" that she's leaving the next day. Hannah wants to make out a little before she goes but Jeff is like nope, it's all or nothing lady. Hannah doesn't understand why they can't at least try and be together and Jeff claims he doesn't want to hold her back which is ok, I guess, because usually in these movies the man is like stay here with me and give up everything, please. It appears at some point when I wasn't paying attention Jeff told Hannah they would in fact try, so this is where The Big Misunderstanding happens, even though it's not very big. I shall call it The Minuscule Misunderstanding.

Sometime later, Jeff tells Forehead that Hannah deserves more than long distance. Hannah is back in LA and Jeff is sad. Turns out he still hasn't unpacked his boxes at his new job, which is a sign that he should leave again, obviously. Hannah talks to Julie on the phone, who says Big Bad Bossman Wally is going to keep letting her do her thing, even though she should have been fired for her backtalk. Hannah has a landline, SURE, that rings with the food delivery she ordered. EXCEPT IT IS NOT FOOD, IT IS JEFF. Unless she's going to eat Jeff. (Which...I would.)  Jeff tells Hannah he wants to make it work, and that he'll go wherever she is. This impresses me because usually in these movies the woman has to give everything up to leave the big city for the small town and the man. They kiss literally one time and then just stand there looking out at the world, which is pretty good self control for people who've been in love with each other for 15 years or whatever. And Jeff's got the forearms out again, too.

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